Last night at church, we talked about community and how being in a positive community can have such an impact on your life. The pastor also mentioned that community is one of the most scary and difficult things that Jesus calls us to step into. He talked about how he is a major introvert, and would much rather sit at home with a record playing, drinking some good coffee, and talking with God, and although it’s good to do that sometimes, he needs to step out of his comfort zone and be vulnerable with other people.
I can totally relate to this. Although I do love being around people and become more energized when I’m around lots of people, I’m super shy and tend to close myself off and put up a front. It seems like in our society, especially at church, people always expect you to be happy all the time, even if your life is kinda sucking at the moment. I’d done this for SO long, but just within the past year or so, I’ve decided to be a little more honest when people ask me how I am. It opens up so much more conversation and vulnerability. And who knows–maybe the other person is dealing or has dealt with the same thing and could help you out and vice versa!
That being said, I’m going to open up and be totally vulnerable with you guys.
Back in February, I felt like God was calling me to step out of college ministry at my church, which had been a HUGE part of my life for the past four years. I finished up in March and at the time had so much peace about it and was so excited for what God has in store for me next. I also started a new job with Daisy Shoppe in January and that has taken up a lot of my time. Because of both of these situations, I haven’t been able to spend as much time with my friends and that has taken a HUGE toll on me. My friends are so important to me and this group of girlfriends is something I’ve never had before. They’ve seriously had such a huge impact on my life over the past several months! Anyways, I began to feel really really lonely, especially starting a few weeks ago when college ministry started back up again, and my depression started to settle in again. Most of my friends are involved with college ministry, so I’m always hearing about it or seeing stuff on social media. Since I’m their friend and I want to know what’s going on in their lives, I’ve felt obligated to ask about how it’s going, while fighting the tears. The college ministry is changing so much in amazing ways, and I almost feel left out and confused about why God told me it was time to step out… I haven’t gotten an answer for this yet, but it’s something I’m praying about and dealing with.
I’m also horrible at being vulnerable, even with my closest friends. I’m always afraid of being judged, even when I know my friends won’t judge me. But I’ve learned that when you are vulnerable, it brings you and your friend(s) so much closer because you’re letting each other in and sharing your heart.
Disclaimer: I don’t really know where I’m going with this… I’m just kind of rambling!
Basically, what I want to get across is that community and friends are SUCH an important part of life! #CANIGETANAMEN?! It takes work and intentionality, which I’ve recently realized and had to start putting into practice. God created us to be in community with others, as well as with Him, so don’t be afraid to be vulnerable and step outside of your comfort zone!
On another note… If you haven’t heard of The Light Blonde, it’s an online graphic tee shop started by the adorable Ali. She makes graphic tees and tanks for women, men, and kids with motivational and Biblical sayings on them, with the intention of spreading The Light! (read more about that here) I love this “Can I Get An Amen” tank, and it actually reminds me of that country song “My Church” by Maren Morris! Anyways, Ali just launched a whole new collection of tees and tanks, and they are all adorable! Shop the collection HERE.